House of a Hundred Whispers is the second book I've read recently with a rave review from Stephen King proudly displayed on the front. The last one was well deserved, but this one has me wondering if ol' Stevey Boy just churns out 5 star reviews for a fee for anything remotely horror shaped, because I can't see where he's coming from with this one at all. There's not even a hundred whispers in the house. There's only about seventeen. What a let down.
Herbert Russell, ex-Governor of Dartmoor Prison owns All Hallows Hall, a creepy Tudor mansion, surrounded by bleak moors and bad weather. Or at least, he did, until his mysterious death (I say mysterious, a hammer blow to the head is pretty obvious). When his estranged children, Martin, Rob and Grace and their partners come to read the will and put their father's affairs in order, the house seems to resent their presence. An unsettling atmosphere permeates the party, and disembodied whispers are heard throughout the halls. Then, on the morning they're set to leave, Rob's young son Timmy disappears without a trace... from inside the house...
Warning - Potential spoilers from here on out.
House of a Hundred Whispers starts off pretty promising - a good mystery is established, and it seems like it's going to be a good old locked door haunted house scenario, always a treat. But it never really gets off the ground. The characters are all so one-note and stereotypical (brash city banker older brother, overlooked middle child, bohemian younger sister etc.) that they failed to either drive the plot, or stir up any emotion in me at all. They also fail to stir up any convincing emotions in themselves. No one seems to care that their dad has been murdered. Timmy's parents just don't seem all that fussed about the fact that their son has disappeared into thin air, and the rest of the family are so un-bothered that their first reaction is to order a takeaway. Things start to get a little ridiculous when a witch, a wizard and a catholic priest are called in, in an attempt to exorcise the malevolent forces in the house and rescue Timmy. The characters are even more chill about the potential malevolent spirits and exorcism than they are about their kid going missing, there isn't a single hint of scepticism or disbelief. This is a family full of Mulders, with not a Scully in sight.
With the introduction of the mystical and spiritual characters, the aim here was clearly to incorporate Pagan and Druidic themes, along with some Dartmoor folk legends. However, rather than adding an interesting twist to a classic trope these elements are name dropped so casually and with so little explanation that they just feel clunky and flat. It would have been really interesting to have an introduction to each chapter briefly exploring a different aspect of Pagan ritual or local folklore to build up the atmosphere a bit more and get us, as readers fully immersed in the world. Instead, we're treated to dialogue like this classic (direct quote):
"There's nothing Harry Potterish about wizardry, believe me. The dark forces you're up against, and the things you have to do to send them back where they belong, like strangling a badger, or turning a live hare inside out"
"All right" said Rob. "We'll see you tomorrow then"
Look, Rob, this guy's just told you he strangles badger for a living, and you're like "okay cool see you later!" I know there's some supernatural stuff going down but like, are you really that incurious? That is also, I think, the line where I gave up trying to take the book seriously. It was a good job I did, because things just get wilder and more ridiculous from there on out. The slow burn disappears and the gore is suddenly turned up to 11. There are all sorts of plot holes and set ups that just seem to be forgotten, and then the ending just made me go: "is that it?". The villain, who, up until about 4 pages earlier was all-powerful and sucking people through brick walls is dispatched far too easily, in a huge anticlimax, and the police, faced with multiple grisly murders and disappearances are just like "A demon eh? Sounds reasonable. Yeah no worries, be on your way".
To top it all off, there's definitely some potential "men writing women" submissions here (I don't need to know the breast size of every female character, thanks), along with a completely gratuitous and glossed over attempted gang rape that served absolutely no purpose, doesn't contribute to the plot in anyway and generates zero consequences. There's even a bizarre and completely unnecessary bit of transphobia thrown in for good measure. What were you thinking, Masterton?
All in all, do I recommend this book? No, probably not. However, I will happily give it to you for free so you can see for yourself how ridiculous it is...and to free up the space on my bookcase.
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